Funny Tweeter

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Page of cynicanoldicus's best tweets

@cynicanoldicus : I had pamphlets printed up for when someone asks what's wrong with me.

@cynicanoldicus: The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood.

@cynicanoldicus: Pushed too hard against my eardrum with a Q-tip and reset my brain.

@cynicanoldicus: On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck.

@cynicanoldicus: Go ahead, post and claim my tweets as your own. Maybe later, if you like, I'll come satisfy your woman and you can take credit for that too.