Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dadtellsjokes's best tweets

@dadtellsjokes : A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

@dadtellsjokes: I burnt My Hawaiian pizza today...

I should've cooked it on aloha temperature

@dadtellsjokes: How many beers does it take to get a tropical bird drunk?


@dadtellsjokes: How do mermaids call their friends ?

With their shell phone!

@dadtellsjokes: Dad:I don't trust those trees.....
Son: Why? What do you mean?
Dad: They seem kind of shady

@dadtellsjokes: Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got six months

@dadtellsjokes: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny

@dadtellsjokes: I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.