@dance_blessed: Your love is like Vicodin. You take away my pain but make me sick to stomach afterwards and you're also white.
@dance_blessed: Lust is not real love and Domino's is not real pizza but both are fine when you're drunk.
@dance_blessed: Dear car commercials,
You probably don't mean to scare me but "German engineering" is also why I don't have so many cousins today.
@dance_blessed: Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars.
@dance_blessed: I got this "breathe" tattoo because I don't have a central nervous system and it's a helpful reminder.
@dance_blessed: "You'll never get the butt you want by sitting on the one you have."
@dance_blessed: The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place.