Funny Tweeter

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Page of decentbirthday's best tweets

@decentbirthday : [Battleship: Guilt Edition] Friend: B6 Me: You sunk my Battleship Friend: Hah yes! Me: But 70 people were on the ship. They had children

@decentbirthday: [before date]

friend: make everything about her

[date]

waiter: *trips and spills food everywhere*

me: *to date* this is all your fault

@decentbirthday: Barista: Latte for Waldo

Barista: Do we have a Waldo here

Barista: Where's Waldo

Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that

@decentbirthday: Isn't it weird that Greenland is icy and Iceland is where my wife moved when she left me

@decentbirthday: God: U have to build an ark to save the animals from a tsunami

Noah: But you're god, can't you just stop the tsunami

God: *loves boats* No

@decentbirthday: Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious

@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering

Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes

@decentbirthday: Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing?

GF: really?

Me: yeah

George Foreman: that's interesting