@delusions_of: "Hey you, Brutus? Please don't let them name a salad after me."
- Julius Caesar's actual last words
@delusions_of: If you think I'm sexy now wait till you see me eat a cheeseburger with no hands.
@delusions_of: Only resort to violence when necessary like when the grocery store won't accept your coupon.
@delusions_of: [flips table over]
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T TAKE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM?!"
@delusions_of: [points at bank account]
"This is why we can't have nice things! Or crappy things. Or food."
@delusions_of: Anything can be used as a dartboard. Like your coworker Jim who always says "another day in paradise".
@delusions_of: My fighting style is best known as grabbing the last slice of pizza and running away.