@dinokitten: Dad: Why do you smell like weed?
Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week.
Dad: Okaayy :(
@dinokitten: *at adoption center*
"Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"
@dinokitten: "Dude go make the first move on her!"
"Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."
"Knight to f3"
@dinokitten: I'm still in disbelief that 9/11 coincidentally happened on September 11 (9/11)