Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dinokitten's best tweets

@dinokitten : [at Chinese restaurant] "Hi I'll have a large goingon" -What is goingon? "Nothing much, just hungry for some Chinese food"

@dinokitten: Dad: Why do you smell like weed?
Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week.
Dad: Okaayy :(

@dinokitten: *at adoption center*

"Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"

@dinokitten: "Dude go make the first move on her!"

"Okay fine, but I'm not too sure what I'm doing."

*approaches girl*

"Knight to f3"

@dinokitten: I'm still in disbelief that 9/11 coincidentally happened on September 11 (9/11)