Funny Tweeter

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Page of djr_102's best tweets

@djr_102 : There's an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day.

@djr_102: My sister just had a baby and she seems to have forgotten all about my problems.

@djr_102: Women love shy guys with some sensitive sensibilities. They also love confidence and assertiveness. So, have multiple personality disorder.

@djr_102: Christianity is the ultimate daddy issue.

@djr_102: I'm an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I'm just majestic.

@djr_102: If you sit beside me, you're part of my drumkit.

@djr_102: Spice up your Facebook timeline when someone's status turns to "It's complicated" by posting "thanks for last night" underneath it.

@djr_102: I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: "Love doesn't live here anymore, and now, neither do you."

@djr_102: Sometimes you just have to roll down your car window and bark at people to see what they do.