Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dksc4life's best tweets

@dksc4life : Damn, girl, are you a customer looking for a great deal, because my clothes are 75% off.

@dksc4life: Trees meet other trees for sex through Timber.

@DKSC4LIFE: LIFE HACK: If you’re a spy, marry a vegan. They won’t be upset when they find out you’re a plant.

@dksc4life: T-REX: listen up pal
AL: my name is al
PTERODACTYL: that’s what he said

@dksc4life: ROBIN: do you go to church
CATWOMAN: yeah i’m catholic
ROBIN: what’s a holic

@dksc4life: [restaurant]
ME: I think I’ll have the soup
HER: What soup?
ME: Not much, just ordering soup

@dksc4life: ME [during sex]: Ugh I love you so much babe

HER: Mmmmmm I love you too sexy

PRIEST: The kiss was all we needed

@dksc4life: It was awkward to see the "World's Greatest Driver" bumper sticker on my car when it got pulled out of the lake today.