Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dlicj's best tweets

@dlicj : me: (texting boss) we still on for work today? boss: yes. you dont have to text me this every morning. we're "on" for work every day mon-fri

@dlicj: [at my grandmas house]
MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey

@dlicj: This kinda thing happens to me often

@dlicj: flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign
[guy next to me is still murdering someone]
me: um excuse me