Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dril's best tweets

@dril : list of casinos I need to burn down in order to prevent my credit score from going to the dogs: ceaser palace, trump cube, chuck e cheese,

@dril: Food $200
Data $150
Rent $800
Candles $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

@dril: sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

@dril: in a world where big data threatens to commodify our lives,. telling online surveys that i "Dont know" what pringles are constitutes Heroism

@dril: The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

@dril: i would take so many bribes if i was a judge. half my shit would be bribes. take bribes from the criminals until theyre too poor to do crime

@dril: the vatican should not be allowed to name any new saints until God sorts out my numerous issues with the citibank web portal

@dril: restuarants need to start hanging up pictures of their bathrooms outside so i know what im getting before i walk in the damn place

@dril: i hate i t when girls think im proposing whenever i take the knee at them in protest

@dril: ive decided that nudity is acceptable if irt's done for artistic reasons, like, promoting a mattress store,