Funny Tweeter

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Page of dumbbeezie's best tweets

@dumbbeezie : I’m aging like a fine banana

@dumbbeezie: What do people who drive 20 mph slower in the rain want from us

@dumbbeezie: “Sorry for the late response” is my email signature

@dumbbeezie: Men be like this is my all in one shampoo-conditioner-body wash-face soap-toothpaste-car wax

@dumbbeezie: Don’t open any messages you get from me. I’m not hacked, I’m just really mean

@dumbbeezie: If you can’t be fun to be around then please be a drug dealer

@dumbbeezie: If you sneeze again after I say bless you then the devil can have you

@dumbbeezie: Me: time to sleep
Brain: You have zero skills that would be useful in an apocalypse so when they start to ration food supplies, people will eat you

@dumbbeezie: We should have burned social media to the ground when they started helping us reconnect with old friends

@dumbbeezie: How about a bird that ruins people’s lives

-God creating roosters