Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of earnestaugust's best tweets

@earnestaugust : If Domino's was smart, they'd randomly call me asking if they should send over a pizza because the answer would always be yes.

@earnestaugust: She asked if I noticed anything different about her & I said no. Then I noticed she was angrier than usual.

@earnestaugust: Oh, you don't have sex on the first date? How about on the last date?