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@ehchino : [First date]
So what do you do for a living?
"I'm a florist"
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?
@ehchino: "What is your reason for divorce?"
She pronounces 'Kansas' like the second part of 'Arkansas'
@ehchino: [Couples counseling]
"It's not good to keep these things bottles up, you know"
*opens jar of wasps*
@ehchino: [first date]
I'm sorry, I fiddle when I get nervous
*jams out epic fiddle solo for the rest of the date*
@ehchino: How do I know you're not a cop?
"If I was a cop, how would I have this?"
*shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it*
Oh, okay good
@ehchino: Kid 1: I'm bored
Kid 2: me too
Kid 3: our parents gave us horrible names