Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of eliserose5's best tweets

@eliserose5 : I quit watching awards shows, because I never win anything.

@eliserose5: Don't be a doormat, be an electric fence.

@eliserose5: I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.

@eliserose5: If you are older than 17 and have mad love for Justin Bieber ,you are the reason whales are the most intelligent species.

@eliserose5: I'm 5'3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality....disorder.

@eliserose5: 8 out of 6 people think I'm terrible at math.

@EliseRose5: When someone says, "Good luck with that'' they actually mean "Let me grab some popcorn so I can watch you fail."

@EliseRose5: Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn't oblivious to my Italian bloodline.