@elle91: I wish I had the confidence of my mom explaining Instagram to her friend 5 minutes after I told her what Instagram was.
@elle91: Why do people get photo shoots done for newborns? Just find some pictures online they all look the same.
@elle91: I saw a man running and started to panic that there was a fire or a bear and then I remembered that some people just do that.
@elle91: I thought the CVS guy was going to ask me to join the rewards program but he said "enjoy your night" so I said "not today, thanks" and left.
@elle91: Accidentally taught my dog to play dad instead of play dead and now he won't stop barking at me when I try to touch the thermostat
@elle91: Got fired from the duty free store for never showing up which is very misleading and also bullshit.
@elle91: I'm afraid my neighbors are starting to notice that I can't tell them apart but greet each of their dogs by name.