Funny Tweeter

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Page of enigmaterics's best tweets

@enigmaterics : Umbrage is like regular brage, but um...

@enigmaterics: Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding.

@enigmaterics: If you are on fire, my advice would be to get off fire.

@enigmaterics: One thing I've learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears.

Or I need new glasses. Again.

@enigmaterics: I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful.

In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.

@enigmaterics: I've started my new diet by putting a salad in front of the beer.

Thus I have to move it to get a beer.

Because exercise is important too.