@envydatropic: Just finished a 5k. It took me 4 days and was filled with snacks and naps but at least I finished.
@envydatropic: Indoor water parks full of kids in diapers for when you want to catch a case of name that bacterial infection
@envydatropic: They say diffusing essential oils can help relieve stress.........THEY DON'T TELL YOU THAT YOU GET STRESSED OUT FIGURING OUT WHAT ONES!
@envydatropic: I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning.
@envydatropic: WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS?
Me watching recorded TV shows
@envydatropic: According to the CDC, the leading cause of death in 2016 was having a career in the 80's that brought you any level of fame
@envydatropic: I dunno but if I was a "doctor to the stars" I sure wouldn't be bragging about it these days