Funny Tweeter

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Page of ericonederful's best tweets

@ericonederful : I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their shit together.

@ericonederful: Fellas,
If you kill a spider while you're at her place, congratulations. You will be having sex.

P.S. Bring a spider.

@ericonederful: I was on a date and my credit card got declined. Her credit card got declined too. Then I knew I was in love.

@ericonederful: Is divorce spelled with one bottle of champagne or two?

@ericonederful: If you use the iPhone 6 upside down, boom, iPhone 9.

@ericonederful: Out with the cat for a walk. We are still at my doorstep. It's been 15 minutes.

@ericONEderful: A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it's sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can't really touch anything.

@ericONEderful: Instead of neutering my dog I just make him wear crocs.