Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of faizziy's best tweets

@faizziy : My biggest weakness has been that I get attached very quickly. ~Superglue, probably..

@faizziy: Apparently "You should Google it" isn't the best response when she asks how much do you love me?

Sigh, women are so demanding..

@faizziy: There are days & nights where I'm surrounded by profound Darkness, followed by a realisation that I need to stop wearing shades in my house.

@faizziy: Whenever a long lost friend calls me, I get suspicious & wonder if he's calling me to sell Amway products..

@faizziy: Hate it when I get carried away with emotions.

Lost a who-blinks-1st competition with a box of donuts & had to eat em all in a fit of rage

@faizziy: Me: What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ...

*Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up

M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

@faizziy: Apparently "The WiFi signal is the strongest there" isn't the right answer when the boss asks "Why are you spending so much time in toilet?"

@faizziy: I've always wanted to rewrite history but couldn't decide on the font..

@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..

@faizziy: She once called me bae so I had to baeurry her in my backyard..