Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of fart's best tweets

@fart : when a date asks you what your dreams are you gotta say you want a family or a great career or something. dont bring up the one where you catch a meteorite with a baseball glove and its the shrunken head of your old gym teacher who tells you the exact date and time you will die

@fart: still my fav achewood

@fart: the real reason you shouldn’t flush condoms is the fish get caught in them and it makes the fishermen laugh so hard they fall off the boat

@fart: theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him

@fart: muppets cannot die and nobody else seems to be worried about this

@fart: Q: Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?
A: a hot air balloon
#JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

@fart: btw, my linkedin endorsements for "Dreamweaver" are for me singing the song Dreamweaver and not for using that software

@fart: the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually "cloaking" they just turned all their lights off