@frankzulla: Life is too short beautiful and unpredictable to not tell people how you really feel
Her: That's so sweet, I-
Green Day is overrated
@frankzulla: You ever rub yourself with tuna and go to a cat shelter to seem like you're a cat whisperer?
Doc: We're gonna need a bigger straightjacket.
@frankzulla: What pharmaceutical advertisements love most:
Horrifying side effects
Old people sex
White people making dinner
@frankzulla: "Well maybe they shouldn't make soap out of animal fat if they didn't want people to eat it!" I yell from the emergency room, mouth foaming
@frankzulla: "Ohhh, a knife! What are you gonna do, stab me or something?"
- Guy about to get stabbed bad
@frankzulla: "How do you talk to an angel"
Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?
"How do you hold her close to where you are"
Me: Aren't most angels men?
@frankzulla: Watching an episode of Star Trek (original series) and my 8 year old says the uniforms remind her of The Wiggles.
I can't unsee it now
@frankzulla: I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!