Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of gitson_shiggles's best tweets

@gitson_shiggles : Hug your kids as often as possible. They can't break your shit when you've got them in a full body lock

@gitson_shiggles: This is not my forté. It's not even my threeté if I'm being honest.

@gitson_shiggles: I could totally identify with REM if the song had been called "Losing my Shit" instead

@gitson_shiggles: Dear guy that just shoplifted a brick from the supply centre, how close are you to finishing the construction of your dream home?

@gitson_shiggles: Me: "I love you so much. I bought you this beautiful rare green rose."

GF: "That's a cabbage....."


@gitson_shiggles: If people on Twitter found a horses' head in their bed at least 3/4 of them would get a selfie with it before calling the cops.....

@gitson_shiggles: Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste.

@gitson_shiggles: Turns out that when asked which was my favourite of all the X-Men that "Caitlyn Jenner" was not a valid answer.