Funny Tweeter

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Page of hero_ofthenight's best tweets

@hero_ofthenight : I feel like every time I go to Walmart I automatically witness the contradiction to their slogan being: 'save money, live better'

@hero_ofthenight: Women are like Gremlins, get them wet and they get into all sorts of trouble.

@hero_ofthenight: If I worked at Starbucks I'd pull a Napoleon Dynamite every time.

"I see you're drinking 2%, is that because you think you're fat?"

@hero_ofthenight: So apparently airport security doesn't like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.