Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of heroinsdemise's best tweets

@heroinsdemise : I always wonder how Men managed to find entire continents. Mine can't even find the butter in the fridge.

@heroinsdemise: "Removing my make up"

Or how I like to call it:

"Reset face to factory settings"

@heroinsdemise: Why do baby clothes have pockets?
I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"

@heroinsdemise: What many don't know,
"Riverdance" was invented while waiting in line at the ladies toilet.

@heroinsdemise: Women's magazines:

20 pages "accept yourself"

40 pages "loose 30kgs in 4 weeks"

And
Cake recipes..