@hippieswordfish: Cop burst through every window of my house as I perform the illegal Google search 'teen age mutant ninja turtles with no Shells on '
@hippieswordfish: 'welcome to helicopter class. any questions..'
*student raises hand*
*arm gets obliterated by chopper blades*
'can wait until we go inside'
@hippieswordfish: extremely suspicious that there's no information about brains that didn't come from a brain
@hippieswordfish: ME: *falls down the stairs* help buddy im hurt bad call 911
ROBE-BOT: another robe sir?
@hippieswordfish: my goth girlfriend says she likes me for who i am on the inside (a skeleton)
@hippieswordfish: *sees red lobster commercial*
oh shit that looks good
*goes to red lobster*
what the absolute hell happened in here
@hippieswordfish: CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire
CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?!
CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic
@hippieswordfish: COP: put ur hands in the air
C: now flip them over
C: now cross them
C: put them behind ur head
C: hey macarena