@hippieswordfish: *sees red lobster commercial*
oh shit that looks good
*goes to red lobster*
what the absolute hell happened in here
@hippieswordfish: CAVEMAN 1: i make this. it called fire
CAVEMAN 2: how u do that?!
CAVEMAN 1: um *thinking about how he was making 2 sticks have sex* magic
@hippieswordfish: COP: put ur hands in the air
C: now flip them over
C: now cross them
C: put them behind ur head
C: hey macarena
@hippieswordfish: [in traction] Before you ask, yes you can make cheese from moose milk and no I didn't think she'd spook so easy.
@hippieswordfish: ME: I JUST WENT TO THAT NEW SALON WHERE THEY CUT YOUR HAIR OFF BY SHOOTING IT WITH A GUN
FRIEND: oh cool how was it
@hippieswordfish: you can't believe it's not butter? buddy, almost everything is not butter
@hippieswordfish: *emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'