@howe007: Interviewer: Why do you want this job?
Me: I've always been passionate about being able to afford food
@howe007: If you can start the toilet paper roll without clawing it like a velociraptor then you're a wizard.
@howe007: Women’s magazines:
Page 5: accept yourself for who you are
Page 8: how to lose 10lbs in 1 week
Page 12: best cake recipe
@howe007: If Russia prepares for war the way it prepares for the Olympics then we have nothing to worry about.
@howe007: I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "hey, that one over there is shaped like an alcoholic".