@hpb777: I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet.
@hpb777: 6yo wants to "have a conversation" with the class bully's parents. Either he's mature beyond his years or he's a mobster.
@hpb777: My husband's doing that cute thing again where he thinks he's right.
*throws his shit out on the lawn*
*makes a bonfire*
@hpb777: A fun way to find bleach in your coffee is to tell me I'm turning into my mother.
@hpb777: I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
@hpb777: Pretty cool how the universe lets me know I'll be bumping into my ex by making me spill coffee on my shirt.
@hpb777: Rapunzel is my favorite fairy tale about a woman who finds happiness when a man pulls her hair.
@hpb777: Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.