@hyperblastchic: Me: That was fun! Fist me!
Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles*
@hyperblastchic: Me singing: Then I saw her face!! Now I'm a Beliber! Not a trace of doubt in my mind!
Roommate: You DO know that's a guy...right?
@hyperblastchic: Me: Gouda would pair nicely with this merlot!
Priest: This is communion...
M: Oh. Gouda would taste well with the blood of Chr-
@hyperblastchic: Brain: He mentioned marriage again. You know what to do.
*sets phone on fire*
@hyperblastchic: "I love potatoes! They are delicious and so versatile. If only they could get me laid..."
-how vodka was born
@hyperblastchic: Fried potatoes
Twice baked potatoes
-if Bubba grew up on a potato farm instead of a shrimp boat
@hyperblastchic: My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles.
@hyperblastchic: Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything.
Ninja: So does a samurai sword.
L: But does it make a cool noise?
N: *cuts off Luke's other hand*
@hyperblastchic: Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.