@iLikeCatShirts: Me [to my friends]: No one ever invites Gary out because he always has some strange contraption.
*Gary pole vaults past us*
@iLikeCatShirts: House 4 Sale: older home w/ character & charm. Lovely bookshelves. Ignore Matthew McConaughey, we don't know how he got trapped in the wall.
@iLikeCatShirts: Thank you hotel for offering me the convenience of making coffee in the bathroom
@iLikeCatShirts: Burger King needs a new slogan. Something like "we clean our bathrooms now."
@iLikeCatShirts: Boss: what should we call the lower cabinet in the corner that swivels?
Bonnie (who hates Susan): I have an idea.
@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*
@iLikeCatShirts: It's that pottery scene from Ghost except it's me standing behind the Subway sandwich artist helping him make my sandwich.