Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of iMikosnyc's best tweets

@iMikosnyc : I found your suicide note and corrected some grammatical errors. You're good to go.

@iMikosnyc: This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message.

@iMikosnyc: Sorry I put black eyeliner on your baby, but honestly, look at how edgy it is now.

@iMikosnyc: Why yes, person on the Internet, I would love to make $596 per day sitting at home. Let's do this!!!

@iMikosnyc: Picture me eating dinner.
Wrong!
Louder. Drunker.
Even more backup dancers.

@iMikosnyc: Tonite on House Hunters: Jill wants 4 bedrooms, granite countertops and a home spa. Bob wants to be stabbed in the driveway.

@iMikosnyc: I like that Linkin Park song where the guy suddenly screams.

@iMikosnyc: It's called Wal-Mart because the Center for Disease Control was taken.

@iMikosnyc: What doesn't kill you was only practicing.