@iamburtjarvis: me: so your first name is "shaw-un" then why is your last name "be-een"?
sean bean: you want my autograph or not?
me: I do, shawn bawn.
@iamburtjarvis: lawyer: I haven't won a case since last year's hearing loss.
me: what was the hearing for?
me: the hearing.
@iamburtjarvis: riddler: check out aquaman's new tweet: "on my way to destroy the legion of doom with fam"
lex luthor: you follow aquaman? LOL
@iamburtjarvis: me: wanna hang out?
southern girl: well, dip me in honey butter, roll me around in mississippi sand and saddle a junebug to savannah
me: father, gooey naan.
father: what's gooey naan?
me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?
@iamburtjarvis: [radioshack meeting]
employee: sir, overall sales are really low.
CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?