Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of imteddybless's best tweets

@imteddybless : if ur dad didn't want to be more than friends then why did he get me that delicious glass of water

@imteddybless: us women should leave something 2 the imagination. for example it should always be unclear whether ur human or a mysterious glowing vapour

@imteddybless: my cousin's baby is due tomorrow & my grandma keeps checkin her phone for news. waitin for the baby 2 text her like "im here lol. from baby"

@imteddybless: when i tell guys i want a baby i just assume they kno i don't mean a human one. i want a baby antelope, a baby hedgehog, a baby lizard

@imteddybless: [cool person follows me]
me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here
me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?

@imteddybless: something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do's a rhombus. u don't care

@imteddybless: haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho