Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ipalatsky's best tweets

@ipalatsky : I prefer the term "quirky", it sounds less diagnosable.

@ipalatsky: it would probably never occur to you, but if need be, yellow pages book can knock your opponent out without any visible bruising.

@ipalatsky: I maintain neutrality in any situation by remaining clueless.

@ipalatsky: ok children, just to recap today's lesson, let's now repeat all the words you are not supposed to say.

@ipalatsky: Old superstition:
When wife laughs at your jokes:
It means you have guests in the house.

@ipalatsky: As a little girl, I dreamt of being whisked away by a handsome prince.
It's my husband's dream now.

@ipalatsky: An old Russian wisdom:
Tell me who your friends are,
And I'll tell you what
you'll be charged with.

@ipalatsky: Treat your guests like family, so they don't stay too long.

@ipalatsky: Learning how to say "where the hell am I?" in eight languages. Just in case.

@ipalatsky: - You got so drunk last night, you were dancing on the table in your underwear!!

- Me? In my underwear? You must have left early.