Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of itchyturtle's best tweets

@itchyturtle : Dating tip: surprise your date by being a giraffe

@itchyturtle: I said "You're not the boss of me" to my boss and it came true.

@itchyturtle: Umm, your honour? In my defence, I think it was a pretty decent exposure.

@itchyturtle: Rent boat. Go out to sea. Find sperm whale. Tell him he's called sperm whale. Console sperm whale. Have fun with new whale best friend.