Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jamdugg's best tweets

@jamdugg : I’ve smoked a lot of weed in my day. And my day was today.

@jamdugg: “You should marry your best friend”
is good advice, but I think my best friend’s wife would be pretty upset

@jamdugg: PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
PlEasE gOd No
Neighbor: hello
OH gOd NO
OH gOd NO
OH gOd NO
OH gOd NO
Me: hi

@jamdugg: Totes McGoats is short for Totally McGoatally

@jamdugg: *Speed dating*

"Hi there. So what do you do?"

"DO YOU HAVE ANY SPEED OR WHAT?"

@jamdugg: Pretty much everything I know about Caribbean geography, I learned from that Beach Boys song 'Kokomo.'

@jamdugg: How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns?

@jamdugg: Confusing Math:

Dogs = Awesome
Chocolate = Awesome
Dogs + Chocolate = Not Awesome