Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jannable9's best tweets

@jannable9 : Kate who dumped me at junior school now wants me to like her interior decorating Facebook page. How the tables have turned Kate.

@jannable9: People can't drive.

Take this guy behind me for example, doing 110 mph with flashing blue lights.

What the hell is a ECILOP anyway??

@jannable9: *Food arrives*

*Waits 3 days*

*Slowly takes bite of food*

*Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage*

HOW IS EVERYTHING??

@jannable9: Remember to look both ways before crossing a woman.

@jannable9: I'm not sure who looks more frightened & confused when someone knocks on my door, the dog or me?

@jannable9: Hey guys! Remember the golden rules this festive season, when shopping in crowded places;

1/Walk slow

2/Stop for no reason

3/Repeat above

@jannable9: Made some terrible life choices the last few years.

Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions.