@jeffswarens: By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something
@jeffswarens: Talking on your cell during church isn't good, but if you use blue tooth hands free they just think you've got the spirit.
@jeffswarens: Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
@jeffswarens: After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
@jeffswarens: Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot
Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy.
@jeffswarens: If you stare at a 6 year old when they're eating a banana split, they hold it real close and eat faster.