Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jjax44's best tweets

@jjax44 : Sorry for nicking your car w/my door, but you didn't leave much room. It's small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.

@jjax44: I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone's like "New sandwich?"

@jjax44: Bawk to the Future #ChickenMovies

@jjax44: A summer getaway for women that date younger guys in the bathroom & want to learn to carve cantaloupe?

John Cougar Melon Camp

@jjax44: My car, spinning uncontrollably thru a crowd of ppl, & my Korean friend screams"HIT THE BLAKES" & I'm like"I CANT BE THAT SELECTIVE"

@jjax44: It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt...and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back.

@jjax44: I always wanted to run a pharmacy and put "Seriously, TMI" on all the receipts.

@jjax44: I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.