Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jonnysun's best tweets

@jonnysun : me: [staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out who i truly am] my reflection: soooooo what are we

@jonnysun: ladies, imagine this: its 15 years from now. u did it. your time machine worked

@jonnysun: *accidentally leaving the house without headphones* oH NO NOW PEOPLE CAN SEE ME

@jonnysun: "a quiet place" sequel cALLED "A LOUD PLACE" WHERE EVERYONE HAS TO KEEP SHOUTING AND MAKING ALL SORTS OF RUCKUS TO AVOID CREATURES THAT HUNT SILENCE

@jonnysun: age 16: if i dont start saying yes to things im going to be miserable

age 26: if i dont start saying no to things im going to be miserable

@jonnysun: *packs 12 books to read on vacation*
im gona read so much i cant wait
[1 wk later]
*opens suitcase*
*somhow has 16 unread books now*
wat the

@jonnysun: you: hey that looks like updog
me: (wrongly assuming that people will like me more if i agree with them than if i ask them questions when im confused about something) wow it really does

@jonnysun: i have never seen a chameleon in real life and i dont know if that means i havent or i have

@jonnysun: JOB INTERVIEWER: can you explain this gap in your resume
ME: yes its 7pts tall, separates two sections in a visually pleasing way, and aligns to a carefully proportioned grid
INTERVIEWER: no, i mean here where it says you didn't work for two years
ME: i.. was designing my resume

@jonnysun: BAE: wats for lunch
ME: i feel like a sandwich
BAE: u dont LOOK like a sandwich
ME: [secretly been trying to dress sandwichly for weeks] oh.