Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jonnysun's best tweets

@jonnysun : *sees a ghost* omg dont haunt me please i dont wana b scared "dude i literaly experienced the horors of death so maybe this isnt about you"

@jonnysun: being in a hamock is so comfortabel bc it replicates our condition before birth: being caried to earth inside the beak of a giant pelican

@jonnysun: im like a onion. peel back the layers and u'll see that deep down inside im just a smaller more afraid onion

@jonnysun: INTERVIEWER: when u read a good book, wat kind of things do u pictur in ur head
ME: [pausimg for a split second too long] words

@jonnysun: did u kno that when a plane lands the first person to stand up gets to drive the plane for the next trip

@jonnysun: DATE: my eyes are up here
ME: [imediately looking up from their dog] sorry

@jonnysun: me: wats ur favorite cheese
date: camembert
me: o thats ok let me kno when u remember

@jonnysun: i asked my mom why she was crying and she said because shes choping onions which is sad becuase as a young child she was adopted by onions

@jonnysun: a person who loves cats is not a cat person theyre a dog person who loves cats. a cat person is sombody who is completley apathetic to cats

@jonnysun: CLOUD: wow im honored, no one ever flies up here to visit me up in the sky
HELICOPTER: well im a gigantic fan