Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jonnysun's best tweets

@jonnysun : high difficulty level escape room concept: u are laying in bed and u have one hour to get out of bed

@jonnysun: i love driving becuase it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad

@jonnysun: i enjoy driving and flying on planes because they both allow me to experience my unrelenting and constant fear of dying but also i get to sit down

@jonnysun: welcome to the motel california
it’s the cheaper choice (such a cheaper choice)
hear your neighbor’s voice
pLENTY OF BUGS AT THE MOTEL CALIFORNIA

@jonnysun: NO

ONE’S

IN..

COURT LIKE GASTON

LEAKS REPORTS LIKE GASTON

WRITES IN PRESS AS “ANONYMOUS SOURCE” LIKE GASTON

@jonnysun: SCIENTIST: dont be stressed! some rocks becom diamonds under extreme pressure
ME: wat about the other rocks
SCIENTIST: oh they turn to dust

@jonnysun: HISTORIAN: im a historian
ME: ah… so… wats ur favorite… uh… year
HISTORIAN: oh, 1901
ME: ah yes… the year they discobvered the… 19th century

@jonnysun: u are suposed to knock on watermelons befor u eat them to make sure that u are not eatimg anybodys home

@jonnysun: coworker: look at my baby
me: wats his name
coworker: jeremy
me: how do u kno
coworker: we named him jeremy
me: wat if he already had a name

@jonnysun: is nobodey else concerned that 'charlottes web' ends w/ the birth of generations upon generations of hyper-inteligent sentient spider babies