Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of josePhDhoran's best tweets

@josePhDhoran : *lights a joint* Woah, fire! Ow! My elbow!

@josePhDhoran: Excuse me girlfriend for I have burped. It has been 3 weeks since my last apology

@josePhDhoran: Give a fish a worm, he lives another day
Teach a fish to worm, he becomes the best breakdancing fish around

@josePhDhoran: To: ALL STAFF
Subject: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: How to Effectively Use the E-Mail Subject Line

@josePhDhoran: *Baby presses 'snooze' to stay in womb extra 10 minutes*

@josePhDhoran: I set up a trap to catch the tooth fairy but she caught on and placed my parents in the trap instead. what a tricky fairy.
PS. i want my $1!

@josePhDhoran: "Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor"- John joyfully sings as he walks off with the 'Caution: wet floor' sign