@joshgondelman: I hope Bitcoin is like Snapchat in that people stop talking about it before I have to learn what it is.
@joshgondelman: In retrospect, "Metallica" is a hilarious name for a metal band.
It's like a Bob Dylan calling himself "Ol' Folksy."
@joshgondelman: Someone wished me a Happy Independence Day and I told him this is America, and we say Merry Christmas here, buddy.
@joshgondelman: Your Scooby Doo Villain Name is "old" plus your gender plus your last name.
@joshgondelman: Why do they call it "buckling a cranky baby into a car seat" and not "fasten the furious?"
(Is it still okay to do these given politics?)
@joshgondelman: The rush I get from completing a crossword puzzle leads me to believe that trying hard drugs would destroy my life within hours.
@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
@joshgondelman: Whenever I watch a home invasion thriller, I'm mostly terrified by how I'll never be able to afford to own a home.