@junejuly12: Every time I see inside my neighbour’s incredibly pristine garage, I wonder what secret shenanigans he is up to in his basement.
@junejuly12: me: can you take care of the grass?
son, 14: *laughs* we call it weed now, mom
me: *narrows eyes* I meant mow the lawn
son: oh oh
@junejuly12: [middle of a heated argument]
Him: I’m leaving you
Her: fine with me, I’ll get the door for you *opens the oven*
@junejuly12: Me: Let’s go shopping
Him: Let’s stay home
Me: Let’s talk about our feelings
Him: Let’s go shopping
@junejuly12: Call your teenage daughter by the dog’s name one time and she doesn’t talk to you for three days. Three wonderful fabulous amazing days.
@junejuly12: [9pm arguing]
Him: you always need to have the last word!
Me: I do not!
Him: prove it
Me: *crosses arms, glares silently*
Me: *whispers* I win
@junejuly12: Just had a cardio workout peeling an orange.
Cheeseburgers don't make you work to eat them.
There's an important lesson here.