@junejuly12: He didn’t know that balancing your knife on the edge of the sink means you may make a second sandwich, so now we have some serious talking to do.
@junejuly12: 20s: he is smart, funny, and hot, he’s my soulmate.
30s: he loves kids and dogs, he’s my soulmate.
40s: we have the same third favourite colour, he’s my soulmate.
@junejuly12: Her: sobbing, smashing Doritos and cupcakes into her mouth*
Him: how was your day, babe?
@junejuly12: My cousin thinks the phrase is sperm of the moment. Someday, I may correct her.
@junejuly12: No thanks, Genie. I'm not falling for the old "rub the magic lamp" trick again.
@junejuly12: If you didn’t need at least five napkins and your sleeve, that burger wasn’t greasy enough.