Funny Tweeter

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Page of kevinrowe1's best tweets

@kevinrowe1 : At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.

@kevinrowe1: I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.

@kevinrowe1: This kitten is just what my house needed.

Another female that doesn't listen to me.

@kevinrowe1: Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, "My twitter girls would do that"

@kevinrowe1: I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.

@kevinrowe1: Why does my shampoo smell like gasoline? And when did my wife start smoking?

@kevinrowe1: My wife doesn't mind me flirting with other women. She finds the rejection quite entertaining.

@kevinrowe1: Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in?

Me: Is married a number?

That's how I get the good meds...