Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of kiralc's best tweets

@kiralc : explaining cat scratches is like defending an abusive boyfriend to your parents "he didn't mean it" "you guys just don't know him like I do"

@kiralc: i can always see the flash of disappointment n a guy's face when i tell them i have a great relationship with my dad.

@kiralc: a murder of crows, a troop of monkeys, a pod of dolphins, a herpe of Kardashians

@kiralc: if I ever go missing, it won't be hiking. you guys don't even have to look there.

@kiralc: Earth? yeah, I'd hit that -meteor

@kiralc: "Got any drugs or alcohol on you?"

"yup, I'm all set. Thanks Officer"

@kiralc: I have, a really beautiful body

under my floor boards