@krustythe_klown: I'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with me when I get Alzheimer's
@krustythe_klown: Sites that are selling my tweets for money.1. Twitter2. FavStar3. Funny Tweeter <3 you guys!
@krustythe_klown: [12 doctors in a meeting] alright. which one of you idiots leaked the 1 weird tip to lose weight that doctors wont tell you. IDIOTS!
@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D
@krustythe_klown: WTH! @ The audience that just sat and watched the first ever magician to saw a lady in half.
@krustythe_klown: Whenever I miss my ex I think about the things I didnt like about him... Like his hairy behind and his wife.
@krustythe_klown: Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.