Funny Tweeter

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Page of lawyerthoughts's best tweets

@lawyerthoughts : Hi you’ve reached my voicemail, this is by far one of the absolute worst ways to get in touch with me....leave a message.

@lawyerthoughts: I need to work on controlling the look on my face when I'm listening to stupid people.

@lawyerthoughts: court: counsel why are you yelling your questions from back there?
me: i've got my phone plugged in back here your honor.

@lawyerthoughts: Them: sir there's no food allowed in here.

Me: this is my service burrito.

@lawyerthoughts: Your honor? My client would like to address the court and ruin everything.

@lawyerthoughts: *throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*

@lawyerthoughts: Dear law students: my opposing counsel just asked her witness how old she was when she turned 18. You'll be fine.

@lawyerthoughts: First they ignore your fanny pack, then they laugh at your fanny pack, then they see you eat gummy bears from your fanny pack, then you win.

@lawyerthoughts: If your entire outfit can be purchased at a gas station it's not appropriate for court.

@lawyerthoughts: Hey people who don't understand sarcasm, what's it like being so awesome?