Funny Tweeter

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Page of lilgapeach32's best tweets

@lilgapeach32 : You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some midol.

@lilgapeach32: Stop, collaborate and listen. Manda's back with news from the kitchen. Calories grab a hold of me tightly I want nachos daily and nightly...

@lilgapeach32: Really not sure why people tell me to "be honest" then get all upset when I tell them their eyebrows need a divorce.

@lilgapeach32: Water is good for you? I call bullshit. My phone drank some one time and guess what? IT DIED!

@lilgapeach32: Who decided "have a happy period" was an okay thing to put on a tampon box? "Manslaughter is illegal" would've been more relevant.

@lilgapeach32: Dear little baby Jesus,
If I got what I deserved, it'd be bad. But my daddy deserves the best. Please send him a handsome son-in-law.

@lilgapeach32: I could understand Eve's choice to doom all of humanity if she'd been offered nachos. But an apple? My ovaries are not amused.