@lisaxy424: boss: WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?
cw: WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING?
me: literally never talk to me gary
@lisaxy424: Passed a gym sign that said “Have those new yoga pants been to yoga yet?” and I feel personally attacked.
@lisaxy424: me: I ONLY GOT 3 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT AND I FEEL GREAT MY BODY HAS FINALLY LEARNED TO EFFECTIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY USE ENERGY
me, 4 minutes later: o god i am dying
@lisaxy424: I just said “haha omg I love your ugly sweater!” to my CW knowing full well it’s just one of her normal sweaters.
@lisaxy424: [before nap]
I’ll be really productive once I get some sleep!
well now it’s way too late to do anything
@lisaxy424: 1997 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly?
2017 me: oh
@lisaxy424: [someone breaks into the house]
Your dog: I will protect my family and our belongings
My dog: OMG OMG NEW FRIENDS HI I LOVE YOU LETS PLAY
@lisaxy424: my dog when its nice out: *jumps in pond, rolls in dirt, eats goose poo*
when raining: MADAM how DARE u take me into these AWFUL conditions