@lovemyboots111: I hate when I stand on a scale and it starts to cry and begs me to get off
@lovemyboots111: Sometimes when you first meet someone you just know you want to spend the rest of your life....
@lovemyboots111: How do you know your man is cheating?
When he drives by her place the wifi connects
@lovemyboots111: "One day I caught myself smiling for no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you...."
under a moving bus
@lovemyboots111: Are you guys sure common sense can't be beaten into people ? Because I'd like to give it try!
@lovemyboots111: I saw a smart car get hit with a snow ball today, yep, it was totalled!
@lovemyboots111: Apparently asking the boss " who ignited the fuse on your tampon?" will get you sent to HR.
@lovemyboots111: I'm at the age where an "all-nighter" means I didn't have to get up to pee