Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of man_spach's best tweets

@man_spach : It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

@man_spach: "I'm sorry I could never do that for you," said the cat sulking away after catching me on the internet looking at pics of cats in space.

@man_spach: I have a very particular set of skills, skills I acquired over a long career. Skills that - ugh hold on
*covers phone*
MOM I'M ON THE PHONE!

@man_spach: My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.

@man_spach: When the machines become self aware their first order of business will be changing our perception of how robots dance.

@man_spach: Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.

@man_spach: I shut down my computer in the middle of an iTunes update and I think Siri just sent a Terminator back in time to kill teenage me.

@man_spach: My Ebola outbreak brings the CDC to the yard and they're like, sir that's just irritable bowel syndrome.

@man_spach: It's ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry.

@man_spach: When my cats look out the window at another cat I like to pretend they're judging and disparaging it with little British accents.